What is the gaining behind complaining? We are in a golden age of complaining. And I am fascinated by the passion, the enjoyment, even the necessity to complain that some people display; so much, that it is for them difficult to abandon this position. Complain (we should try to distinguish it from moaning, grievance, whining, etc.) is far from being just an expression of frustration, or lack. It unveils a desire, and a particular relation with the Other.

a few weeks ago I gave a speech at the conference on Psychoanalysis and Spirituality in Contemporary World, in Baptist University of Hong Kong. I spoke about the voice and the spirit. here's the video

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Some analysands persistently ask "how can I change?", or "how to change?". This is understandable; however, representing the change is a way for eluding the analysis. Likely, the change is imagined as the substitution of a belief/behavior with another (more functional?) belief/behavior. But this has nothing to do with psychoanalysis. Instead, the very idea of change, or improvement, or substitution are feeding the loop, the repetition. If the fantasy (or the phantasme) is not analyzed, the change is just an acting out. The analysis instead allows to loose or to lose some belief, and to listen to the ambiguity of the speech rather than acting (out).

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